New ideas for truck driver humor hilarious dads trucking humor sadly this is true 18 wheeler truck drives through 5 foot flood keep them wagons moving raw hide. Short, funny jokes and oneliners that will make you laugh. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette. As i was driving to work this morning, this truck driver swerved right. Trucker quotes, truck memes, peterbilt trucks, peterbilt 379, classic trucks, truck drivers, rigs.
One time chuck norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. One liner jokes really funny clean jokes and humor. Thinking how important automobiles are to the western way of life, the amount of funny jokes and good driving jokes to be found is relatively small. Trucking industry, trucks by jurica magoci september 28, 2017 8 min comments as we all know the trucking industry is a very serious and important industry. Trucker walks into a brothel and is greeted by an old lady with a glass eye. A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for. Like blue truck dude, loud dog guy, nice old lady with the rose bushes. He finds the manager of the restaurant there and tells him heres a hundred dollar bill. What follows next is first are a couple of the few funny truck jokes we found which are actually funny, and then well be back with a few general driving jokes and automotive jokes. One day the driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another truck approached on a particular twoline training road. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age.
The most hilarious car jokes youve ever heard jalopnik. Little johnny said, he has a red pickup truck but he doesnt know how to drive it. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man. A collection of truck driver jokes and truck driver puns. A truck driver didnt notice the low bridge ahead sign and gets stuck under the bridge. Lots of really funny one liners and very short jokes carefully handpicked for you by for their sharp and humorous firepower. A truck driver was tooling down the highway one afternoon and heard a pop. Lots of really funny one liners and very short jokes. The old man asks, why are you going to sleep on the floor.
A swift driver walks over and says what is wrong jb. Funny trucking memes and diesel semi truck driver jokes. The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. I want the ugliest woman you can find to serve me a. So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. Oct 05, 2015 submitted by eaf143 a german lorry driver was in a pub in newcastle england he was complaining how lazy the british are, he drives his load from hamburg, goes through holland, belgium up to new.
The third walked up to the old man and turned over the old mans plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. I was feeling very sad and left out last week when i realized that i didnt know any good car jokes. The second one drank the truckers coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The waitress replied, not much of a truck driver either. Trucking jokes to keep you moving tetra capital blog.
Should it happen that you know any good ford jokes. And if you think so, we can prove you wrong, because weve made a compilation of familyfriendly and yet funny jokes. Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. And the bus driver asks the kid what he was doing he says what are you doing with your hands and feet. Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings sara 7 apples. So here are a few clean trucking jokes to help you keep moving. Famous john wayne quotes and sayings johnny depp quotes. I bet you will love these ford jokes more than you love the cars. What do truck drivers do when they get too old to have an erection.
When i saw you coming round that bend i thought, fortyfive at lea. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house. Best trucker jokes truck driver jokes and humor jokesfest. Here is our selection of jokes and funny stories about women car drivers. After a week of intensive training, they got to the same stretch of road, and. Semi trucks old trucks diesel cars diesel engine trucker quotes custom big rigs truck engine peterbilt the good old days. Sep 28, 2017 trucking memes and jokes that will make you laugh your head off posted in category.
The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The largest collection of car oneline jokes in the world. Jul 16, 2012 the best ever book of truck driver jokes. The trucking company was desperate for new drivers, decided to hire driving instructor and provide driving lessons for new drivers free of charge. Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are handselected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. A massive collection of short, funny jokes related to cars, trucks and other vehicles. Jun 28, 2011 funniest one liners do not argue with an idiot. They got out and measured their rig, which was 12 feet 4 inches tall. He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. Apr 09, 2017 old man tells joke about irs and gambleling. Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to check his tires. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old mans pie and then took a seat at the counter. It was then when his old habit took over and he snapped back at the officer naah, i was on my way to delivery when the bridge ran out of gas.
Enjoy these hilarious and funny truck driver jokes. An old man was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in. The third biker turned over the old mans plate before joining the. What did the blond say when she opened up a box of cherios.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver s license to verify his age. Welcome to this big page filled with funny car jokes. The jb driver replies i am 2,500 lbs over gross and i only have to go 5 miles with it and there is a scale on the way. Driving jokes funniest old age driving jokes collection. So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, humph, not much of a man, was he. Funny farming jokes, puns and stories michelle miller, the farm babe, is an iowabased farmer, public speaker, and writer, who lives and works with her boyfriend on their farm, which consists of row crops, beef cattle, and sheep. The truck driver says, no, i was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas. The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world.
The swift driver says well when you get up to the scale cut your lights off and coast on by. An old joke about a boy and a duck that my dad used to tell me when i definitely wasnt old enough for it to be appropriate. The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, bitch. Some of these jokes in our collection can teach you things, as well as make you laugh.
I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters i write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with secondchance exits. Whats the difference between a volvo and the principals office. He picked it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of bottle it was when a very old genie popped out. An old man was eating in a truck stop when three roughlooking bikers walked in. So i sent a plea out to the jalopnik community and you guys more than delivered as you often. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say if you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass. See top 10 driving jokes from collection of 57 jokes rated by visitors. The third biker turned over the old mans plate before joining the others at the counter. What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men. A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named sara and the competition is fierce. Weve collected the best of truck driver jokes and puns just for you. A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.
See more ideas about trucker quotes, truck memes and truck quotes. Why do they fit abs braking systems to the latest fords. Clean jokes, memes and short oneliners whoever said that clean jokes cant be funny couldnt be more wrong. We bumped into some old friends yesterday, my wife was driving. One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells pig. A old southern,slowtalking truck driver answers an ad in the paper for an otr position. Two good ole boys from the south were driving a truck through the back roads of west virginia when they came to an overpass with a sign which read, clearance. How many blonds did it take to change the lightbulb. A grizzled old trucker was eating in a truck stop when three hells angels bikers walked in. Now, one day, he was driving his normal route, when he spots a priest on the side of the. A list of best and hilarious truckertruckdriver jokes that you will find on the internet. Read up on our old age jokes and getting old jokes to live forever. With the rise of selfdriving vehicles, its only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guys truck leaves him too.
Submitted by eaf143 a german lorry driver was in a pub in newcastle england he was complaining how lazy the british are, he drives his load from hamburg, goes through holland, belgium up to newcastle and back to hamburg in two days. Nevertheless, these jokes are healthy and good for both the young and old. The supervisor knows they need drivers bad, so he cuts off the entire interview and says. My wife wanted a foreign convertible, so i bought her a rickshaw. The largest collection of car one line jokes in the world.
At my old house our neighbor had a semi and we would go outside and run to his side of the street and do that and he would honk his horn for us. One of the bikers said to the waitress, not much of a man, was he. Need a funny or attempting to be oneliner to tell your driving buddies. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old mans pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter.
See more ideas about humor, trucker quotes and big trucks. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Three bikers and a trucker jokes about vehicles such as car jokes, train jokes, submarine jokes, helicopter jokes, motorcycle. Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and daddy yelled at him, jesus christ. Trucker, lawyer, and a priest trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Theres a bus driver and hes driven through town picking up kids he picks up this one kid and the bus driver watched the kid get sit down and everything and the kid started tapping his feet and wiggling his hands just kind of doing jazz hands. Its less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principals office. The second biker picked up the old mans milk and spit into it. Curious, the teacher asked, and where did you learn that, johnny.
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three hells angels bikers walked in. Driving one liners on taxi, i had the great fortune of directing many wonderful episodes, none more classic than reverend jims driving test. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him. Im a sailor, most of my jokes are not family friendly. Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho young, mark geoffrey on. One of the blondes looks up and says, yeah, but youve got a driver. I used to be a train driver but, i got sidetracked. Trucking memes and jokes that will make you laugh your head off posted in category.